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03/27/2009 Entry: "3/27/2009: Part 1 of a June 21, 1988 Letter to Joe from Charles A. Smith"

Letter from Charles A. Smith to Joe Roark, June 21, 1988, part 1.

Dear Joe,
Thanks for yours dated June 18th which arrived here yesterday, the 10th.

Before I get to answering your letter I'd like to ask a favor of you.

Some time ago I sent you a copy of a statement from Doug Hepburn to the effect that, under my training, his total had risen from some 900 odd to over a 1000 odd. Also a letter from his father reminding him how much he owed to me. I have scoured the bloody house high and low and I just can't find the originals. I know they are somewhere but I am unable to lay my hands on them. Could you send me a xerox copy of them please? I'd appreciate it. Someone wants copies and I can't send them.

Re my situation here. True, it is my business and I should address MYSELF to the problem, but as Napoleon said to his troops- and somewhat ungrammatically- before the battle of Waterloo. 'None of youse guys will know what the shit's going on before they get there'.

Vera knows exactly what situation I am in. I have pleaded and begged so many times for her to call me even once a week- phone me- just to see if I am all right. Nothing. I have not seen her nor has she phoned me since the first Monday in May. It seems to me that this is the LEAST she could do. She knows how to use a phone. She knows my number. But she can't be bothered, it would appear.

True, the boys call me and chatter over the phone. She knows they are calling and speaking to me because I have heard her voice asking them who they are speaking to, and they have told her. One would think that she would come over to the phone nd say, 'Hi ya, Dad. How's things?' But no. On the other hand, she has three kids to take care of, her home, her job, and her husband, who also works. But one cannot be rid of the feeling that one is not wanted. She goes to the gym EVERY morning. Can't she just take ONE morning off to come and see me for half an hour. The hospital where she works is but five hundred yards from home. There is nothing to stop here from stopping over on her way to work for a few minutes, but again, she can't seem to take the time or expend the effort. I am sick and tired of having continually explained my situation to her without results. She KNOWS. Bob asked her to take me to the doctor's today. She said she didn't have the time. True, of course, she has to go in today at 3PM for some doctors and do her chemo therapy. SO that's that and I must do two things, make the best of the situation and make other friends who will come round on occasion and see if I am still living.

I have been over to Vera's place- Thanksgiving, Xmas, my birthday and over the weekend the start of May. I keep asking her to do this and the boys pestered her for more come overs since I interact with them and get into everything they get into. But what the hell is the use of constantly complaining. It gets you no where. I suppose my trouble is that I was born in an age and in a different culture when the family cohesiveness meant something. Now, no one seems to give a shit about Mum or Dad when they are in their 'Golden years'. Oh, how I hate that phrase. So there we are. Nothing I can do about it.

concluded next week...