Iron History
Iron History
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02/25/2011 Entry: "2/25/2011: Letter from Charles A. Smith to Joe Roark January 19, 1990"
"Letter from Charles A. Smith to Joe Roark January 19, 1990.
A personal word here. With this letter, Charles had about 53 weeks of life remaining. I did not know this, perhaps he did. Had I known, a greater effort would have been made to write more often. Here come what some will see as excuses, but my life at the time was packed fuller than comfortable. I was working more than one (for a brief, near breakdown point four) jobs. My youngest daughter was in college. My main job involved irregular hours, and many sleep-deprived days before going to the next, part time job. I am saying I was busier than ever- before or since. And, although as Charles remarks, other people received letters from me, they did not receive them with any more frequency than did he. My quill was still.
In hindsight, that period, and how I did not write often to Charles, saddens me, and there is a tent of regret hovering over those memories. But what precious little free time I could gather in that period, I used selfishly. Sometimes to maintain sanity, personal, unfettered, non-obligated, time for oneself is needed. It was for me.
So in the coming, few remaining, letters betwixt us, you may notice a lessening of the rapport we had. If so, that would be my fault. Certainly Charles was not restricted time wise as was I, except in the sense, hopefully unknown to him, that the day before my birthday in January 1991, Charles would, in his acknowledged agnostic bent, depart this world.
The respect I felt for him cannot be overstated or downplayed because of the slower pace of my letter writing during what would prove to be his final year. Regrets, more than a few; respect, much, much more than I can describe.
RIP, Charles."