Iron History

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10/30/2008 Entry: "10/31/2008: January 1, 1988 letter from Charles A. Smith to Joe"

Letter from Charles A. Smith to Joe Roark dated January 1, 1988

Dear Joe,

Thanks for yours dated January�damn�December 24th, which I received on Saturday, the 26th. Many thanks.

I spent a quiet Xmas. Vera picked me up on the Monday before Xmas and I stayed over there until Thursday, when I was brought home around noon. Vera and her spouse then taking off for a scuba diving holiday in Cozumel, Mexico, leaving the kids with the other set of Grand parents in Snithville, a small hamlet fifty miles from Austin- and leaving me on my own for Xmas day. Something I don�t exactly care for since my wife died this day in 1959, and it is a time when I shouldn�t be left alone. But I guess what can�t be cured must with patience be endured and we can smile as easily as we can cry. Meanwhile I hung around at home like a fart in a phone booth, until around 5 PM when my other son-in-law came over bearing gifts in the shape of a couple six packs, plus presents for the kids. So all wasn�t too bad after all.

The boys have turned the bugging of their sister into a science. The baby sets it up. I doubt not that if he goes into the Armed Forces, he will reach four star rank in no time flat, his tactical timing and strategy sense is fine honed. He sets things up. Christopher, the oldest of the two will rush up and punch Johannah, or call her names. She will chase him out the Game Room and into the back yard, where he is already up a tree, keeping her occupied by calling out names or spitting down on her.

Meanwhile the baby has gone into her room where he bags everything he can lay his hands on, including her hand bag, which, as I am sure you have discovered by now, is a lady�s sanctum Sanctorum, hides the booty in his room. Vera has already broken up the impending civil war, back comes Christopher and they proceed to empty out the hand bag and mess around with all else they have taken. Of course, when Johannah finds out she�s missing things, our breaks the civil war again. To say the very least, it was a lively holiday. The boys were up at 5 Thursday morning to open their presents, so everyone got up. No sleeping time left.

Had a letter from Chapman to tell that he has to rush his Cyr article. I thought it appeared somewhat hurried and he tells me the Wunderful Wun called him on a Friday and said he had to have it by Monday. Dave of course took notice of this and had the stuff ready by Sunday. This is a usual Wonderful Wun tactic. He once things at once when he really doesn�t need them until three months hence. Whether this is his way of telling people how important he is I don�t know, but I guess it is such.

But what surprised me even more was a letter from Chapman lauding the Wunderful Wun. Dave tells me he had merely expressed appreciation for the WW publishing his Sandow article. Says the letter wasn�t intended for publication and hinted that it may have been �edited�.

I have seen all the latest WW mags and I keep a bucket handy when leafing through them, since the temptation to vomit is strong. Page after page of the latest MUSCLE AND FITNESS is packed with laudatory remarks about the WW. It is now progressing from the downright sickening to the absolutely ridiculous. And he had better get Rick Wayne back to re-take the editorship of FLEX. Now it is as flat as a female�s pre puberty bosom. The MUSCLEANEOUS is a travesty of its former self. True, the mag under Wayne did contain a lot of scatological material, but at least it had some zipp and life to it. Now it is just blah.

It also seems the Cheery Bombay Chappie has got his hairy old Hindu arse in a crack. According to very reliable info, he is being sued not only by the United Nations, but also by five families in Puerto Rico for enticing their kids away from them. There have also been several similar complaints from families in other parts of these here United States- that he has gathered family members into his fold and is holding them against their will.

He has also written a book in which he tells all his followers that they must remain celibate while only he is allowed to screw. I�ll bet the old sod couldn�t come if he was called. He has also issued an edict that when he dies, all his disciples must commit suicide.

He owns a large block of real estate in Manhattan and recently paid fifty thousand bucks to hire a large hall in Toronto, where those held captive had to listen to him tinking on a piano while his cohorts thumped the audience for donations- a collection was made, plus hard selling methods in getting rid of tape recordings of his mantras, paintings, poems etc etc. God knows what will happen if he becomes a martyr- which Heaven forefend.

I have not had any letters from my sally against him in Bob Kennedy�s mag, but if I get any, intend to have a lot of fun with the jerks.

No, I never did meet Pudgy. But of course I have seen loads of stuff about her. At one time she was a regular fixture at Muscle beach, much like the barbells there.

I haven�t heard anything about MEN�S FITNESS. In fact I haven�t even seen a copy. I write ridiculous letters to WW over his mags and the amount of bovine bowel movement contained therein. No reply. I wonder why?

Who is Bob Gajda? The name seems familiar. I got a letter from some bloke named George XXX in Lancaster, Penn, asking me if I had seen Gajda�s book or pot boiler, in which he lambastes the French for not taking baths. How he got hold of this piece of info I don�t know. But from my experience, the French are as clean as any other civilized nation- in fact more so since most of the ordinary apartments contain a bidet, a curious piece of apparatus, over which one sits after a BM or a good screw and has a jot of water squirted all over one�s fundament. I have NEVER seen such a piece of bathroom equipment in ANY other National rest room inventory.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS. My other granddaughter graduated from the U of T with a BBA and is already working.